Which dictator would you rather give your money to?
1. The one with the good smirk. I like sacks with straps, they're made for $5 but they cost $5,000 and are made by people who probably work 10 hour shifts with few bathroom breaks. But these sacks with straps give my life meaning and purpose, are beautifully styled as handbags, and are much better than trash bags. When I post pictures of them strangers click and make happy sounds.
2. They're both cute, I like cheap underwear.
3. The one on the right because I like computers made by slaves, computers never let me down, don't smell and never sleep on the subway. Computers let me press their buttons and never talk back but make chirping sounds and make me feel like a God.
4. Not pictured. I like cut-up shards dug up deep underground by poor people in countries I can't spell. These shards give me a deep sense of belonging, I feel most loved when presented with these shards around my neck and all my fingers. But I'm not a shaman.
5. Probably the one on the left, I can travel to 58 countries for five bucks each, and let the world know how good I am at purchasing tickets and sitting in chairs in the air. I'm a world traveler and when I post about my cheap adventures to cheap countries where I eat cheap food I get cheap adoration. I actually don't like to do anything, and by moving around spending cheap gas I can justify not doing anything at all with my life. I can bask in the sun and let morons do work and press buttons for no apparent reason other than wishing they are not doing anything also.
6. Neither, I enjoy their work for free. In my house I have a couch and a television, and whilst using those I can watch with impunity other people's children die. I can switch the channels between different dictators making different atrocities so I never get bored.
7. All of them. I'm a dictator myself and my word is law, I get good grades at making billions of dollars. I rule not only factories but countries and planets. In fact, I plan to make even more trillions in space and other planets. My employees kneel deep before me and crawl around the warehouse looking for their minimal wages wearing colostomy bags. When it's my time to die I'll shred all the bills and slowly chew on the pieces. I'll be the most expensive mummy.